Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You.
I married a human. I know, you’re probably like, ‘I knew that one’! But there’s a reason I say that. Sometimes when we walk down that aisle, we think we’re marrying some sort of Prince Charming who is going to act the way we do, like the things we do, REACT the way we do and in general, live life the way we do. Like we married some perfect, other-worldy being, but the only problem is that we married a human being who has his own way of living life. When you were dating everything was hearts, flowers and sunshine. Why? Because we all put on our best show. After we get married, the reality of life sets in and you soon realize that the way your mate bended over backwards for you before is not how he will be in your marriage. And you don’t like it.
He doesn’t either! Because you are the same way towards him.
Marriage is not one-sided. Both partners have a role to play in it and choose the direction the marriage will take. You may not think that having high expectations for your spouse is a bad thing, but when your expectations cannot be met because of who your spouse is, then it can be detrimental. God purposely made your spouse different from you. He did not want people to be carbon copies of each other. Expectations are wonderful, but when your husband begins to feel like he will never measure up because of things you have said or done or the way you have behaved towards him, things can go awry. Love is not supposed to make people less than, it is supposed to encourage and make your spouse feel unstoppable. We are not to project our way of living life onto our spouses. God did not wire them the same way.
The Bible says, “Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble” (Isaiah 35:3). “Encourage one another and build up one another … Encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14).
Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.
At the end of the day, answer these questions:
1. When you place high expectations on your spouse that they don’t feel internally motivated to attain, what does that tell you about yourself?
2. What are some better ways to deal with these disconnects?
Congratulations! You have completed Day 27! Tomorrow’s dare is Love Makes Sacrifices.